As our lives extend and we embrace our power, more phases have been added. Maiden, Warrior, Mother, Queen, Crone.
Maiden is our phase of innocence. Warrior is the phase where we fight for what we want in life. Mother is where we find abundance, fertility, and fulfillment. Queen is when our children have left and we rediscover ourselves. Crone is the final phase where we become the guide and a beacon of wisdom.
I am discovering how to be a mother when I am not a Mother.
I've made the decision not to have children and for a very long time I worried about how that would impact my sense of myself as a woman. That I would just float along directionless while all of these beautiful, glowing, mothers bypassed me with their beautiful, glowing, babies and actually made something of themselves.
How could I ever measure up? I have secretly always felt this sense of inadequacy around Mothers. For a long time I even felt like this blog couldn't be what I wanted it to be because I was not a mother. How could I help women to make time for themselves when I don't understand what it means to balance a life and motherhood? How can I help a mother love her body when I can't fully understand the changes that body goes through.
How can I be 'good enough' to help women that know so much more than me, have experienced more than me, and have been initiated into something that I will ever know. It took me awhile to see my value beyond that.
I think I've finally begun to discover the Mother Phase for myself and what it will mean for me. I'm not quite there yet but I can see it on the horizon and I know that it is meant for me. It is my path and I am looking forward to the moment when I set my feet upon it.
It is my time to nurture, to embrace the abundance in my life, to fall into bed exhausted but contented, to feel fulfillment in my heart and a deep knowing that I am living my purpose. My path is my own and just as beautiful as everyone else's, just as important. I know that now.
I have discovered that you don't have to give birth to a baby to create something wonderful or to live your life with purpose.
I no longer look at the future and fear that there will be a long stretch of nothingness. I no longer feel like my life has to be empty or I have to feel like something is missing. I have something to give the world. Something to nurture and something to love.
There is a mother inside all of us. Universal Mother, Great Mother, that spirit dwells inside of you. We are all part of that energy.