For all of the shy girls out there I want you to know that I see you, I hear you, and I love you.

I know what it’s like to hover on the outside, too afraid to draw notice to yourself for fear that you won’t be good enough, or interesting enough, or that you’ll have to bend or break just to fit in. That your words will come out jumbled, that there will be awkward silences, and that your brain won't come up with the words to fill the silence.

I want to tell you a few things.

You are wise. You know how to sit back and read situations and see the things that no one else sees in the studiousness of your quiet. You hold answers that everyone else is too loud to hear. You have a better understanding of people because you see their actions as well as hear their words. You have worth.

When people ask you how you’re doing and you easily steer the conversation back to them, because it’s easier to listen to them speak than to open yourself up to vulnerability I want you to know that what you say and how you feel is important and it matters because you matter.

You choose your words wisely, and that’s a pretty amazing skill. It doesn’t make you damaged that you have to think before your speak, that you don’t like being put on the spot. That’s okay too. You aren’t the only one that has to rehearse conversations in your head or work up the bravery to say things that need to be said.

Because you are brave. You’re braver than a lot of people because things don’t come easily to you. We look at other people and we wonder how they do it. How they pick up the phone and chat so easily, how they walk up to strangers without that urge to flee, how parties and social events are fun and not a trail.

It may be hard to express yourself with spoken words but I bet you make amazing art, or have insightful ideas, or write words that are powerful. Words aren't always needed. Actions can speak louder and you get that.

It’s okay to prefer your book to going out. And you might not have a lot of friends but the ones you have are probably pretty amazing. You understand how amazing it is to have friendships that are deep instead of superficial and you know how to be grateful for the people that get you and your special brand of weird, odd, and awkward. And if you are feeling friendless right now you can join our group. Some of us are shy ones as well. We get how sometimes sitting behind the computer screen lets you be truly you, we don’t judge.

There are women in your tribe, even though you might not know it.

You don’t need to change to be loved, you are worthy and amazing in all your shy-girl loveliness.


There is no greater gift that you can give yourself than loving yourself fully. Your mind. Your soul. Your lovely body.

My word of the year is depth and I’ve been exploring what that means for me and my life. Exploration is fun, I suggest you try it sometime, even though it's terrifying. As someone who dislikes change and tends to get very comfy with the status quo, going deeper in my life has been a bit of a challenge, but as the days have flown by this month, I've realized it's been a good one.

I invite you all to live more deeply with me.


Emotions.

I’ve been digging deep into my emotions and even doing something completely radical. Being honest about them! I’m one of those people that when you ask me how I'm doing the words “I’m doing great, how are you?” come out of my mouth without any thought on my brain’s part. I could be falling apart on the inside but I still plaster on a big cheesy grin and tell the world that I'm doing fine.

It’s a defense mechanism that basically says "enough about me, tell me about you so I can focus on something else because I don't want to talk about me because me feelings aren't [worthy/important/valid/relatable] or I'm just too [sensitive/emotional/dramatic.

I’ve been trying to be more conscious of that and allow myself to actually whine when I need to just have a good venting session or to actually talk about my problems instead of superwomaning it. Never doubt that sharing your feels is a great form of self care. Sometimes you just gotta let it out with a few f-bombs and that’s all you need to feel better.

Food.

I’m not much of a cook. If you have hopes that I’m ever going to post delicious looking recipes... nope. Not happening. I once tried to make pancakes in the microwave, just saying. However, there is something to be said for actually stretching those culinary muscles and I have. One of my goals this month is to actually make real food that requires prep time and the use of an oven/stove. I made homemade gyros, which were amaaazing, baked cookies, and chili should be happening this week. That act of going through the steps to create something that nourishes your body is a pretty powerful thing.

Spirituality. 

One of my favorite things about this human existence thing we're all doing is that connection with Spirit/God/Divine. I can’t even describe the way that it makes me feel inside, as if I am above everything but also essentially part of it.

Living with depth means meditating, listening to inspirational music, videos, and podcasts. It also means living my life in a way that goes far below just the surface. Stop. Breathe. Pray. Connect.
I’m also on the hunt for really nourishing change-your-life books to read, tell me your suggestions!

Free Time. 

Okay, this is a big one. I’m one of those people that when I’m bored or feeling listless I’ll sit at the computer and get sucked into that strange vortex of checking facebook and then my email... and then facebook again... back to email... facebook... click on a link... and two hours later I’ve gone on some weird strange journey where I’m reading about 6 Celebrities You Didn’t Know Were Related and I’m watching a video on youtube of a hairless cat swimming in a bathtub and I’ve done nothing productive or nourishing.

I don’t know why I do it, I’m just sitting there you know, looking for something to interest me, thinking that I’ll find it if I refresh Facebook enough times. This month has been a lesson in stepping away from the computer and going to one of those hobbies that does make me feel good instead of just occupied. I’ve read a ton of great books this month, gone on some lovely walks, tried my hand at jewelry making, and spent some great times with great friends.

Dreams.

In living deeply, I'm getting up close and personal with my dreams + goals and being honest about those things I really freaking want. There's no "when" or "but" or "maybe". It's completely terrifying by the way. However, I think about how bad I want those things, and how happy and proud I'm going to be when I make those dreams come true and achieve those goals. First step is always the hardest. I'm reminding myself of that. I've been working on one of my very big big dreams and hopefully I'll have some great news to share later this year.

So far this living deeply is pretty fantastic.


How are you honoring your word of the year this month?


What things have you done? What habits and routines have you created? How is your word transforming your present?

New year, new you? Right? How about new year, new VIEW of you? If you did the whole New Year’s resolution thing, chances are that one of yours involved treating yourself better. Maybe you’re planning on getting healthy, relaxing more, or making time for the things you love. Congratulations, you’re doing the self love thing.

Self love is the act of allowing yourself to be you and liking yourself for it.


There’s a bit of a misconception sometimes about self love. If you’re new to the concept you might conjure up the image of a yoga-doing, green-smoothie-drinking, Buddhist-chanting, woman on a sunny beach overlooking the ocean. For that woman, loving herself might include all of those things but it doesn’t have to be your self love. You get to create your own picture of what self love looks like for you.

Self Love Step #1

Choose to care about yourself and your life enough to start liking who you are AS you are. You don’t have to change, you don’t have to be someone else, and you don’t have to fit any version of someone who has their shit together. In fact, you can be a mess, your life can be a mess, and you can still be worth loving. You can still find ways to love yourself. When you start with that step you’ll find that a lot of the chaotic parts of your life start to resolve themselves.

Self Love Step #2

Get to know yourself. All of yourself. Get to know your body and what makes it feel good in as many ways as you can discover. Get to know (and embrace) your strengths and the things that make you happy. Really freaking happy. Learn what other people love and admire about you and OWN it. Dance with your shadow self, the aspects of your personality that are darker and maybe not-so-nice but that make you real and human. Stop hating yourself for them.

Self Love Step #3

Start doing things that you love as a way to love yourself. I can’t tell you what those things are, you know what makes you happy so make time for it. Start a routine that makes you feel good. And when life gets busy and you “forget” to do those things don’t beat yourself up about it, just start again. You can start right now, as many times as you need.

Self Love Step #4

Seek support and community. When you start getting over those blockages and start healing yourself in those really deep ways a lot of hurtful stuff can come up, stuff that you thought you dealt with or thought you’d never have to think about again. Surround yourself with people that get it and people that love you. Don’t be afraid to say “Hey, I’m struggling right now and I need help/hugs/shoulders.

Self Love Step #5

Be patient and keep going. There might be days when you wake up and you’re angry at yourself. When you look in the mirror and you hate everything that you see. When you make really bad choices that aren’t in your best interest. You can mess up and still be uber lovable. Remember that.

 I wanted to share these words from the amazing spoken word artist Shane Koyczan for anyone who needs them today.

“There will be bad days. Be calm. Loosen your grip, opening each palm slowly now. Let go. Be confident. Know that now is only a moment, and that if today is as bad as it gets, understand that by tomorrow, today will have ended.

Be gracious. Accept each extended hand offered, to pull you back from the somewhere you cannot escape….. Despite your instinct to say “it’s alright, I’m okay” – be honest.

Say how you feel without fear or guilt, without remorse or complexity… If you think for one second no one knows what you’ve been going through; be accepting of the fact that you are wrong, that the long drawn and heavy breaths of despair have at times been felt by everyone – that pain is part of the human condition and that alone makes you a legion….So be a mirror reflecting yourself back, and remembering the times when you thought all of this was too hard and you’d never make it through.

Remember the times you could have pressed quit – but you hit continue….Be the weed growing through the cracks in the cement, beautiful – because it doesn’t know it’s not supposed to grow there….If you are having a good day, be considerate. A simple smile could be the first-aid kit that someone has been looking for. If you believe with absolute honesty that you are doing everything you can – do more.

There will be bad days, times when the world weighs on you for so long it leaves you looking for an easy way out. There will be moments when the drought of joy seems unending. Instances spent pretending that everything is alright when it clearly is not, check your blind spot. See that love is still there, be patient.

Every nightmare has a beginning, but every bad day has an end. Ignore what others have called you. I am calling you friend…. Everyone knows pain. We are not meant to carry it forever. We were never meant to hold it so closely, so be certain in the belief that what pain belongs to now will belong soon to then. That when someone asks you how was your day, realize that for some of us – it’s the only way we know how to say, be calm. Loosen your grip, opening each palm, slowly now – let go.”

I'd love to know what parts resonate with you!


Making new year's resolutions to get healthy and get in shape is a fantastic idea! However, remember to treat your body well and keep the self talk positive. Your body is not the enemy!