What do you really want for yourself?

Don't sell yourself short.

Don't let yourself believe that your dreams are too big so you've got to make choices that don't nourish you.

Don't settle because you feel like you lack the courage or the guts to make your dreams happen.

Choose to stop sabotage yourself before you even get started.

Believe in you.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I wanted to take a moment to share some information with all of you lovely yous. More than 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and more than 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the United States have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. That's a pretty scary statistic.

My own experience with domestic violence is rather interesting. I think back to my first relationship and I read the definitions for emotional abuse ticking them off on my fingers. Calling you names. Acting jealous and possessive over everything. Trying to isolate you from friends. Humiliating you. Telling you that you will never find anyone better. Belittling you. Constantly threatening to break things off to get their way.

Anxiety is usually defined as fear, unease, and worry over things that haven't happened yet. That's how I usually experience it in my own life. I will get anxious over things that have already happened, generally whether or not I've made the right decision about something or said the wrong thing, but what really causes the anxiety is not knowing what effect those things are going to have on the future. Not knowing the outcome of every decision you make can be kind of daunting when you think about it!

Anxiety = fear.

I have learned and practiced a lot of different ways to make friends with my own anxiety. Some of them have worked and some of them not so much, but when anxiety comes a knockin' I have a plan to deal with it. I decided long ago not to let anxiety overwhelm me.

Don't you just love when something utterly beautiful pops up in your Facebook timeline? This lovely tidbit comes from the wise Pixie Campbell and it just resonated so deeply with my heart that I wanted to share it.

Do you have a person that you are able to share your whole self with?

Do you remember the first time you felt really alone? Maybe it was just after a break-up or right after moving out on your own or maybe it just hit you in a random moment.

Being alone can be scary. It brings up a lot of feelings of vulnerability and fragility. Humans are social creatures and we love that feeling of being part of a group, a family, or a couple.

Which can sometimes make it hard to see what a beautiful gift being alone can be. It makes you really open yourself up. Alone-ness, solitude, is the sanctuary that allows you to get in touch with your essence. It strips away all of the outside stuff, all of the distractions, and allows you to get in touch with your true self.

Who are you when you aren’t being defined by someone else?

Here's a message from Oracle of the Shapeshifters by Lucy Cavendish.

One of the things I always struggled with when I was younger was time. I felt like it always took me too much time. It took me too long to make friends, it took me too long to think of the right things to say in social situations, too long to fall in love or fall out of love, too long to make up my mind, to make life decisions. So much wasted time dealing with grief or sadness or stress.

I wondered why it took me so long to deal with things, to get over them, when it seemed like everyone else just flipped a switch and everything was fine. I know that's not true now. I know that we are resilient and that some people do bounce back faster than others, but just because it looks like someone has it all together doesn't mean they do.

We can't judge ourselves by how someone else operates, especially when looking at it from the outside.

The only thing we can do is honor ourselves and our journey. We all have different operating systems, we can't force them to go faster, we just gotta take our time. It's ours to take and no one else's.