Do you have to love yourself to be loved?


In lots of Self Love Circles there’s that wonderful quote that you can’t love someone else until you learn to love yourself, or that no one will love you until you love yourself. I wanted to weigh in on those thoughts. I’m pretty sure I’ve shared that sentiment in my life once or twice but the other day I really sat down and thought about it.

You don’t need to love yourself to be loved by someone else.

It’s just a really REALLY good idea. There are some really awesome people out there in the world who will love you through all of your baggage and all of your self-sabotaging and then there are the people who just add to it. Those patient, lovely, healing souls – they’re rare and the mistake that we make is thinking that everyone we love will want to fix us, or be equipped to help us fix ourselves.

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Seek Sanctuary Within

space1This month’s theme is all about sanctuary and how important that is to your self care practice. The concept of sanctuary has always been very important to me but it has also been a really huge struggle. In my early 20s I went through an intense period of depression and self-loathing and the concept of sanctuary was alien to me.

I did not feel like I had a safe space inside of my skin. Imagine the feeling of surrounding yourself with negative people and also being negative inside of your head. There’s nowhere to escape, there’s no break from the negativity and you just get dragged down with it until it becomes part of you. There is no sanctuary because that place inside of yourself feels more like a burning wasteland than a temple of peace.

You can measure your self love by your sense of sanctuary.

When you love yourself one of the wonderful things that starts to become a priority is feeling safe and happy in your own skin.

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August is time for sanctuary.

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Hello wonderful readers! It’s a brand new month and I don’t know about you but I’m excited for it. Not only is this Birthday Month (The big 3-0 is coming!) but it’s a chance for a new start. Every month feels like that, the changing of the date can change our mindset and that’s really important. So leave the past in the past (unless it has something to teach you then embrace it) and focus on making the best of these next 30 days.

If you’re following along in the 2015 Self Love Planner ( it’s only $5!) the theme for August is all about Sanctuary.

sanc·tu·ar·y: a place of refuge or safety.

You need to feel safe and secure. It’s one of those essential human things – food, water, and shelter. But it’s more than that. You need a place where you can be yourself, where you can feel embraced for who you are and comfortable in your own skin.

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Love Note: Keep Yourself Warm

lovenote“You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.”

I feel like I need this tattooed on my forehead so I can see it every day when I look in the mirror. I fell in love with it the moment I read the words and they sunk into my brain. As an empath this really resonated with me. It has been such a struggle for me not to carry other people’s problems around with me, not to give everything inside of me to save someone else from pain, and sometimes the weight of that has had consequences on my own emotional health.

There was a time in my life where I thought I could make myself lovable by trying to be useful to other people. If someone was having trouble paying a bill I would offer to pay it for them, if they mentioned they wanted something I would surprise them and buy it for them.

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Self Care Toolbox: Rainbow Fluorite

rainbowflourite

I’m really into crystal healing and I have been for years. In case you’re new to the concept here’s what it’s all about. Crystals have a kind of energy or vibration. We can use that energy to manifest things in our own lives. You know how we associate colors with different feelings blue = sad or calm and red = angry, that’s picking up on the energy of the color. Crystals are no different.

Now you might think that sounds a little hippy-dippy and maybe it is. But here’s how I look at it. For me, crystals help. You can call it the placebo effect and I’m cool with that. I don’t think crystals can cure cancer or diseases but I do believe that they are great tools in their own right and that they have a purpose. If you hold a crystal in your hand and you believe that it’s helping you, it can.

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